According to The Mirror, "EASTENDERS star Steve McFadden had crisis talks with panto bosses yesterday after claims he was a "dogging" pervert."

Eastenders is a good show, but once again real life beats fiction.

But his £15,000-a-week role has been thrown into doubt following claims by former girlfriend Angela Bostock that he enjoyed having sex in public over 10 years.

Angela also alleged that McFadden, 46, who plays Phil Mitchell in the soap, forced her to have sex with a transvestite.

And she claimed he disguised himself during his sordid exhibitions by wearing a wig from Peter Pan which was not his own.

Apart from the editorializing prudery of "sordid exhibitions" (a tabloid feature), doesn't this sound as if it were written by an eight-year-old, or two people who were completely drunk? Or maybe unauthorized wig use is a bigger crime than I had supposed.

In any case, it seems as if the British and Australians have more colourful slang than we do. I think there might be a slang gap. (Cf. After Grog.)