Loser's Guide Loser's Guide

 Loser's Guide to Life

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Holiday Message from Murray Fartblast 

I see lots of folks who are "unhappy". Know what I tell 'em? Smarten up, I say. What are you groaning about?


One thing that really annoys me: People who don't seem to know how well off they are. You see them all over the place, mooning over something or other.

"Yeah, who cares?" I always say.

That usually seems to cheer them up.

Sometimes you meet a tough nut, though. No matter how persuasive you are—no matter how much care and thought you put into your little cheering-up speech—they still seem a bit mopey!

I don't know, their girl left them, they have no friends or money, they're bound and determined to make heavy weather about something. No amount of lyric flights of fancy seems to do the trick. Try as you might, they've still got that hangdog expression.

Well, forget about them: they're wasting your time.

This has been a Christmas Holiday Message from Murray Fartblast.


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