Loser's Guide Loser's Guide

 Loser's Guide to Life

Thursday, December 01, 2005


I think people ought to learn how to drive if they plan on driving a car. Just about every day I see several non-trivial driving errors and I'm not even looking for them.

Lots of people seem to think a red "stop" sign means "slow down if you really have to". Sometimes I catch a glimpse of the driver inside there, pretending to be more interested in a flakey pastry than in vehicle management. Then there are all these dopes talking on their cells, probably saying, "I'm driving in my car right now—oh no, I'm not busy at all. I've got the radio on, but even that's not distracting me enough. What I really need is a DVD player. Oh, look, I almost ran over that guy."

I used to have a cellphone back when it was still cool. It was fun to sit in a cafe and ring up Halifax Transport's GoTime, just in case I wanted to take a late bus somewhere. Then about two years ago I noticed this guy who sells his poems on the street ranting away about Jesus into a cellphone.

I was about to say that cellphones had jumped the shark, but a few years ago I noticed that the expression "jumped the shark" had jumped the shark: it was used by someone at The National Review. Ergo, etc.

If you were to look out the window right now, you'd probably see stupid people driving around and talking on their cellphones about The National Review and running people over.


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Watching TV is a good way to tear yourself away from the computer.