Mr Film Buff hopes to impress people with his knowledge of the recently released, three-hour director's cut of Maklatura's admirable film Featherhead, yet there is still rumoured to be a five-hour version which no one has seen.

It is hard to conceive of something so majestic, because the work has already been hailed as "moving and prescient" many times, and repeatedly scorned as "boring", "pretentious" by audiences and non-critics alike. It would be hard for Featherhead to be more unwatched than it is now, even as its influence grows by the minute. And yet...there remains the hope of something yet to be done with this new golden fleece. And even when that will have been achieved, it will be time to search for (or perhaps invent) the fabled six-week version. Only then will we have truly experienced Featherhead, and a new conversation can begin.