Loser's Guide to Life
I was on the bus the other day watching what was going on. What I noticed was that I was the only person doing this. All the other passengers were wishing themselves elsewhere or just not paying attention. The man in front of me was actually reading a magazine, which struck me as odd, because if you really wanted to read something, would you say, "I know, I'll get on a bus"? So his reading was a way of trying not to be on the bus. (He was not successful, by the way, because he kept on being there.)
Something similar happened in high school. I was taking a math test and noticed that the building next door was on fire. I was sitting on the far side of the room, away from the windows, so I could see everyone in the classroom bent to the task, and I started to wonder how long it would be before someone else noticed the flames pouring out of the windows across the alley. (It was a splendid fire, even in the middle of a sunny day the light from its flames flashed all around the room.) It took a good while. And when they did notice it, their reaction was awfully slow. "What? What am I seeing here? Looks like—is that building on fire?"
I think I did poorly on the math test. But in the test of life I had scored once again!