Loser's Guide to Life
The noted scientist Dr. K. explains that there are probably a thousand planets out there which could probably sustain life, probably, but probably these life-forms would probably not be like us. This is probably drivel and probably ignorant nonsense, because probably they would be just like us in every respect. And probably they would send us a note saying they were going to be dropping by soon and would we be in? And they would land, and we could take them around to see things and then have them back for some wine and cheese. We would probably have little to say to each other, however, and everyone would sit around grinning uneasily. Finally it would be time for them to be getting back, and we would go out and admire their space ships. "Oh", they would say, "But you guys probably have much better space ships!" And we would say, "Oh no, not at all. We don't really do much travelling these days. Although we have been to the moon." "The moon?" they would say, "Oh, you mean—your moon. Oh yes. Sure. Why gad about when you've a lovely good planet right here?" And they would look around appreciatively. And we would all probably shuffle our feet and finally they would get into their space ships, and we would wave to them and say ""Safe trip! Thanks for coming all this way!" And they would say, over the roar of their engines, "No, no—thank you for having us! And if you're ever out our way, come by! You know where we are now!" "Yes, yes," we would say, "absolutely!" "Promise?!" "Of course!!" And we would mean it, too—we would probably enjoy going out there on a visit. But what's the point?