Loser's Guide Loser's Guide

 Loser's Guide to Life

Monday, August 14, 2006

Godzilla Sighted 

“Gosh, this Godzilla news is somewhat alarming...it says here he might be coming our way. Now, okay, it's nothing to get too worked up about. I've been thinking about this very thing for a good while, oh—”

“Oh, shut up about Godzilla, will you? I'm not done being angry with you. Oh, hi, Brian! Brian! Over here! What a wonderful day! Gordon and I were so bored until you turned up.”

I love puppets!

“Oh, great. Uh, I was just getting a coffee.”

“Oh, but stay! Oh please. Tell us about your new girlfriend. Or the old one. She was crazy, wasn't she?”

“I can't. I decided not to talk about her any more.”

“Oh, poo. Well, can you put on one of your puppet shows? I love puppets. Gordon, here, doesn't. He has this thing about puppets.”

“No, I don't mind them. Go ahead with your puppet show, Brian. Don't mind me.”

“I can't just put on a puppet show here, in the middle of this coffee shop. I've got to be going, anyway.”

“You know, I could—”

“Oh, put the puppets away, Gordon. Gordon here has the most boring puppets. Everyone laughs at them, and not in a good way.”

“Well...I don't know about that. It might interest you to know that I've designed a whole new show about Godzilla vs the Puppets. Yes, I think you'll find it's a new direction, and yes, I have put a lot of work into it. If you're wondering, I was thinking about the way Godzilla's eyes are sort of not so good. He always looks enraged, with his big angry eyes, which is not so scary. I thought, wouldn't it be better if he looked dull and unthinking? Attacking the puppetry with empty, soulless eyes? What do you think? What? ... All right then: be that way. Don't enjoy the story of Godzilla vs the Puppets. You probably wouldn't get it anyway.”

“Hm. Well, you don't have to be so insulting and rude. You just drive people away, and that's why we have no life.”


Post a Comment

Watching TV is a good way to tear yourself away from the computer.