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Loser's Guide Loser's Guide

 Loser's Guide to Life

Monday, December 18, 2006

Pizza Box Horror 

I have a neighbour who keeps leaving stacks of empty pizza boxes everywhere. It's understandable. If you eat pizza every day, those things pile up, and where do you put them? The front of my building might seem to be as good a place as any.

But what happened is someone from my building went ahead and put the neighbour's empty pizza boxes on the neighbour's doorstep, as if to say, “Why don't you throw these pizza boxes away, lazy bum?” That's gutsy and proactive. But what will happen is that the neighbour will suspect me, rather than the silent yet meddlesome freak that actually did this thing. You must know the type: acting all polite in public, smiling, all that nonsense, but behind closed doors they're on the phone calling the police every minute, or else phoning various authorities to find out whose ear to bend about ordinances and things. But probably disposal of cardboard containers isn't an important agendum yet. It might be on the tapis, though.

Meanwhile, the neighbour sees me and thinks, “Okay, buddy.” I live on borrowed time.

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Watching TV is a good way to tear yourself away from the computer.