Loser's Guide to Life
Imagine that you are the expert at running some complicated machinery or system, and you have been its chief helmsman for many years and know all there is to be knowed about its vagaries and moods. You even have the scars and occupational deformities of one who has spent so much time crawling around in the service tunnels, getting shocked, bitten by ferrets, variuously polluted.
And then someone comes in and needs to be given an elementary course in how it all works. So you do your best, talking about some of the basics. But after a few minutes, the person you are talking to (who started out so eager, cute and starry-eyed at the prospect of learning about The Work) now seems annoyed, impatient.
“... so that's how it knows it's reached maximum pressure, and that stops it from exploding,” you say, “ ... er ... something wrong?”
The person frowns and says:
“Use shorter, more popular words, please! Because I intend to learn everything, but everything, that you know in these ten minutes!”
Labels: My Old Man's a Dustman