Loser's Guide to Life
Every week on “House”, a different patient presents with something straightforward like a hangnail or restless leg syndrome. But once House has had a look at him, the patient's condition quickly deteriorates until he's convulsing or vomiting bile or and going into a coma while his extremities turn black, and nobody seems to know why. House staggers around ordering tests and jabbing at the dryboard angrily trying to figure out the problem. He gets into a big argument with everybody. He wants to build a small fire on the patient's chest; they all point out that this won't work. “No,” he cries, “my unorthodox procedures are the best. If you weren't all idiots you'd realize that.” Then, inspired, he rushes into the patient's room and discovers the correct answer.
“He's a genius! Like Sherlock Holmes! Or Dr Joseph Bell, Fellow of the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh, Arthur Conan Doyle's friend, and most likely the real-life inspiration for his celebrated detective-hero.”
“Yes. But he has a lot of personal problems.”
“I know. It is difficult.”