Loser's Guide Loser's Guide

 Loser's Guide to Life

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


“Did you read this chart of most popular tunes? Biggest hits? They're the ones that I like! I find it remarkable that I invariably love everything on the hit parade (not unusual in itself), but also in the exact same order of preference. It's a strange, strange accomplishment.”

I am the guy we're talking about when we talk about popular culture.

“Maybe it's all a coincidence.”

“That's what I tell myself, because I would hate to think that something meant something. But ... it seems like I am the guy we're talking about when we talk about popular culture. If ‘Wanderlust’ by 20,000 Downloads is at number two this week, you can be sure that my assessment is the same. My delight in hearing ‘Wanderlust’ is exactly secondary to my desire for the number one hit, ‘Greedy, barbarous, and cruel’, by Nuyoptyblya. And so on and so on and so on and so on.”

“And—when the song moves down the list?”

“Yes. My enthusiasm wilts accordingly.”

“Well, that just means that your whole life is an ongoing coincidence. You are in the world, but not of it. To an outsider, it might look as though you are somehow mirroring the German word that means whatsname, but we know that this is not so, because you have impartially weighed the merits and demerits of each cultural artifact as time passes, and there you are. Independent corroboration of the fitness of things.”


“But at least you're not alone.”



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Watching TV is a good way to tear yourself away from the computer.