Loser's Guide Loser's Guide

 Loser's Guide to Life

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Spoilers for a Film I Haven't Seen 

- Dear, I wanted to talk to you about the strange child we have adopted; perhaps we've made a mistake, and she's actually a demon or, or, or some sort of demented being from another period; a murderous bloodsucker, if you will.

- Oh stop stop, dear. We've been through all this. Take your medication, or it'll get much worse.

- But dear. Strange things keep happening--

- All easily explained by some logic, or by a general feeling of what is “reasonable”. We've been through this before, dear, remember? I don't want to remind you of the last time when you were inexplicably crazy and drugged out, because we've agreed never to talk about that, except in a strangely allusive manner as need arises.

- Yes, I wish you would kind of stop that. It wasn't a big deal, and it's kind of boring when people--

- Dear--let's not talk about your, ah, ah, ah, ah, “crisis” again.

- Fine by me. You make it sound like it was like Nasser closing the Suez Canal or something.

- I'd better set up an appointment with Dr Simulacrum, I see...

- Yes, whatever. The thing is, this adopted kid (albeit an outwardly normal, dwarf-life creature) appears to have been sacrificing small animals and so on and apparently the other kids in the neighbourhood all shit their pants when she looks at them cross-eyed, so, I don't know. Don't you think it might be worth keeping a weather eye open?

- I am concerned about your slow descent into alcoholism and madness. Yes.

- Er, meantime, one of our non-possessed kids has gone missing, and there was a bit of muffled screaming and whimpering a little earlier. I've no idea if those two things are related, obviously. But...

- Oh, he's sure to be in his room, where our children always are, ensconced with teddy bears.

- I looked for him, but he's not there.

- H'mm, this is difficult...I've got an idea: let's for look for him somewhere else!

- Okay! That might work!

- Although I've a feeling the police will eventually pull up in several squad cars to arrest whoever.

- Here's hoping we all survive the final tussle!

- We always do!



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Watching TV is a good way to tear yourself away from the computer.