Loser's Guide to Life
Something that's been bothering me for years, because it's in bad taste. But everyone used to wear a hat. Then JFK made public appearances with no hat on. It was cool, neat, casual. Men quit wearing hats en masse, guys in ads wore no hats, sporting short yet boyishly rumpled hair. Hats were for old guys like Ike and Dick and Nikita and Ward Cleaver.
And then the thing happened. He was riding along in Dallas with no hat on. And he got shot in the head.
What if he had been wearing a hat?
A gust of wind, he dips his head and reaches up to secure his hat.
What if there had been a pothole in the road?
Bonk. The passengers lurch forward as bullets pass over them.
—Christ, you need to get these streets fixed!
What if some nut had screamed out, JFK, JFK, you bastard!
JFK twists his head around to get a look at the guy. Who's that?
—Ah, some nut. Don't worry.
But the streets were smooth and the crowds adoring.