H'mmmm, I have to draft a letter to deal with some recent business. Let's see ...

Dear Fuckheads:

In reply to yours of yesterday's date, I beg to inform you that the other day I had a call from one of your shithead employees that was so fucking rude, arrogant, and, above all, insensitive, that I've a good mind to tell you to shove the whole deal up your arse on the end of a broomhandle and forget about it.

In dealing with clients, it is as well for a company such as XYZ to avoid coming off like a bunch of goddam know-nothing pricks. I assume you want custom and patronage. If so, instruct the jerkoffs that work for you to act decently and treat others with a measure of courtesy and respect. Rudeness won't get you anywhere, fuckwit. It doesn't impress upon clients your ability to work with them; rather, it forces them to conclude that you are worthless garbage whose phone calls are to be ignored and whose written correspondence is to be thrown away unopened. With a flourish of contempt.

Asshole.

Yours sincerely, etc.

I wonder if this sets quite the right tone. It's difficult to judge.

Labels: Office Shenanigans