Well, the ball is in our court. Very much so. We just need to find the court. Oh, here it is...ah, “Members Only”.

Labels: Office Shenanigans

Her laugh, heard through the wall of our office, would, no doubt, inspire my next piece, “On the Painful Death of a Rodent”. An oratorio, perhaps.

Labels: Office Shenanigans

H'mmmm, I have to draft a letter to deal with some recent business. Let's see ...

Dear Fuckheads:

In reply to yours of yesterday's date, I beg to inform you that the other day I had a call from one of your shithead employees that was so fucking rude, arrogant, and, above all, insensitive, that I've a good mind to tell you to shove the whole deal up your arse on the end of a broomhandle and forget about it.

In dealing with clients, it is as well for a company such as XYZ to avoid coming off like a bunch of goddam know-nothing pricks. I assume you want custom and patronage. If so, instruct the jerkoffs that work for you to act decently and treat others with a measure of courtesy and respect. Rudeness won't get you anywhere, fuckwit. It doesn't impress upon clients your ability to work with them; rather, it forces them to conclude that you are worthless garbage whose phone calls are to be ignored and whose written correspondence is to be thrown away unopened. With a flourish of contempt.

Asshole.

Yours sincerely, etc.

I wonder if this sets quite the right tone. It's difficult to judge.

Labels: Office Shenanigans

Whenever she threw something in the trash, it wouldn't just get dropped or thrown in. She would cast it in vehemently, emphatically. Crash. There. I've thown it away. Crash. Another. And when she threw something away, it stayed thrown away. There you are. That's what you get for being useless.

Labels: Office Shenanigans