Loser's Guide Loser's Guide

 Loser's Guide to Life

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Unequivalent Things 

Some aliens came into the coffee shop today. Actually, I should say, Earthlings. I keep forgetting that I'm the alien on this planet!

Anyway, the thing I noticed was they couldn't decide what they wanted or how they wanted it. There were two of them, a man and a woman, and their partnership was working against them. Instead of teaming up to achieve their goal, each was compromising the other's ability to order a drink.

“Do you—”


“—ah, I think?—”

“—steamed milk, or—”



A fruitless collaboration.

Somehow the barista confused my order as well. I asked for a coffee “to stay” and she misheard it as “with Twin®”. I decided not to quibble and just paid up, thinking it couldn't be that bad.

In fact, it turned out to be astoundingly vile. It's not sweet at all, just the opposite. It's curiously bitter. It tastes the way burning plastic smells. I kept on drinking the coffee, amazed that anyone would think that this comes anywhere close to mimicking sugar.

So, there again. Twins. Couples. Something.



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