In the café today, I saw that someone was telling a new joke.

There was an appalled silence. One woman seemed torn between wanting to get up and leave or burst into tears. The man sitting next to the speaker didn't know where to look, and very much wanted to keep the company in one piece, but had no idea what palliative thing to say. He permitted himself a frozen grin, clearly not to be taken as a result of the joke, but a sociable reflex. I could see that he knew how to deal with tragedy, always providing just the right phrase, the confident manner, but here he was at a loss. And no wonder. It fell to some less central figure to break the spell by comparing lattes: are the ones at Dino's better?

And I thought: Don't worry—years from now, after we're all dead, people will laugh at your joke, uproariously.

Labels: Café

A tall young woman unloads parts of her knapsack at a table nearby as she prepares to settle. A binder, some pens, and Abnormal Psychology, 6th ed., which probably retails for around USD 399.99. Abnormal psychology = babe magnet.

I straighten my tie, shoot my cuffs, clear my throat, temporarily overcome several facial tics...Why, excuse me, Miss. I couldn't help noticing...

Labels: Café

When I was a kid, we used to drive around Manitoba a lot. Many fields and uniform stretches of midsize birch, poplar and pine, and along the road the same ditch, running, oh, for thousands of miles, it seemed, relieved by the occasional appearance of an aluminium drain pipe which allowed it to continue its course through the roadbed of a bisecting lane or driveway. In the bottom of the ditch there was always a certain amount of water, even at the height of summer, and it looked like tea. Reddish-bown, but translucent near the surface. When you're driving along and you've nothing else to do, it's pleasing to note that the water at the bottom of a ditch looks just like tea. I also considered that the colour was mostly the action of long-dead, bleached leaves steeping at the bottom and sides of the ditch, just like tea-leaves in a cup.

Anyway, the other day I was sold a cup of coffee made from that very water! I pointed that out to the barista, but he didn't seem to care.

Labels: Café